No Words

Those of you who know me, even casually, know that I'm rarely at a loss for words.  But I've just completed an experience that words, even with my ability to distill and make analogies, cannot begin to describe. I've accomplished a few things in my life that I'm really proud of--helping to create a loving family, professional achievements, riding in Pelotonia, oh, and that beating a disease that kills 40% of people diagnosed with it within 6 months.  But completing my 200-hour Yoga teacher training ranks near the top.

I went into the training with ZERO intention of teaching. This was about me, and getting better with my yoga practice.  There were still physical dynamics within my body that I felt had not recovered from the de-conditioning that happened after my stem cell transplant. I thought that a strong, knowledgeable yoga practice would be another step in my physical recovery. And, if I learned it well enough to teach it, I'd certainly be able to practice it well.

So, on September 8, just 9 days after we moved to our new house ie not the best time from a practical perspective, I started a 200-hour yoga teacher training. The cover of the manual said, "Awaken Your Truth, Embody Your Light." I was hopeful it would help in my physical recovery but it gave me so much more.  I've spent every Friday evening from 6:30-9 and every other Saturday and Sunday from 9-6:30 with a group of 8 women and 1 man.  I knew the instructor and took the class because I loved her ability to combine feistiness and nurturing in an amazing yoga class.

But, I was worried about spending 180 hours over 3 months with 8 people that I'd never met. While many people think I'm a classic extrovert, I really value deep relationships based on authentic connection and don't really have a desire to spend time with people in the absence of that connection. I was cautiously optimistic that the spirit of my instructor, Sara Goff would attract people with whom I could connect.

As the title of this post indicates, I have no words to describe this amazing group of humans I had the privilege to learn with, practice with, discover with and grow with.  We opened our hearts, minds and bodies to each other, sharing moments of humor and tears, intellectual growth and emotional growth.  Sara took a random collection of seekers and turned us into a connected collective, a true tribe, with authentic intimacy and selfless love for one another.

Our last day was filled with hugs, laughter, tears, and, for me (and probably others), a strong feeling of gratitude.  Not gratitude for becoming a teacher or improving my practice, but gratitude for the individual humans I had come to know and love, and the community we had created together, under Sara's wise and nurturing guidance.

As we shared our hearts with one another one last time at our graduation party, it seemed that everyone was looking for the path that would allow each to be their most true, authentic self, free from the standards and expectations imposed by others.  Sara knew that the path she was on as a Yoga teacher, trainer and community creator was the one she was destined to be on. Other were at a bit of a crossroads, but taking steps toward what they felt was their path toward their truth, their light.  THAT was the magic of the experience

While I entered the training with no intention to teach, I now feel I have been given a gift that I am obligated to share with others. So stay tuned...I'll be hosting some yoga classes to prepare riders for Pelotonia before cycling season and to help them recover from cycling during the season.  

Today, as I drove to take a class from Sara because I needed to get one more experience with a portion of this community, the song "Wild Country" by Wake Owl came on my Spotify Discover Weekly playlist. It starts with the line, "What will become of the truth if we keep it in?" I really feel that my truth has been awakened and, in order to embody my light, I need to share it with others.  Stay tuned.