Tomorrow marks the second anniversary of my admission to The James Cancer Center for my stem cell transplant...followed by my second stem cell birthday on Saturday. Those of you who followed my blog last year know that this time of year was filled with remembrances of the darkest and bleakest days of my life.
A few weeks ago, I shared a post from 2 years ago asking for prayers due to the pain in my GI tract. A good friend, whom I consider a spiritual mentor, commented on the post asking me to stop, saying it's over and that I should "keep gratitude. Embrace hope now." Whenever a trusted friend advises me to change my behavior, I like to stop and reflect on what's causing the behavior and consider the recommended change.
The anniversaries of my time in the hospital will fall near Easter most years, as it did when I was in the hospital in 2013 and this year. It's an interesting parallel and one I've pondered before in "Stem Cells for Easter". I was kicking around my friend's admonition and thinking about Holy Week, pondering the somberness of Good Friday against the joyousness of Easter.
When there's joy in the outcome, what is the role of remembering pain and suffering that was on the road to the triumph? I wish I knew. I just know for me, when I think of the suffering, it brings my gratitude from lurking in the back of my mind to the forefront of my consciousness. And it does it without undermining my hope. I don't look back at the tough times and have fear they may come back in the future. I look back to remind myself of how wondrous is the joy and how precious is the life I have now.
Exaggerated joy and a sincere appreciation for life..if remembering the tough times gives me that, I think I'll keep doing it.
No comments:
Post a Comment