As I recovered and left the vestiges of illness behind, I thought more and more about ways to remind myself of God's goodness to me through this time. One of the reasons I think and write about my illness is so that I can bask in the blessing that is my recovery.
In one of my favorite hymns "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing", my favorite line is "Here I raise my ebenezer, here by thy great help I've come." An ebenezer is a stone monument meant to signify great help from God. It's taken from 1 Samuel 7 when the Israelites defeated the Philistines. In the hymn, that line about raising an ebenezer is about acknowledging God's blessings.
In my usual rebellious manner, I've added a new twist to the "ebenezer" concept. The monuments I've created to remind me, and others, of God's goodness and to celebrate my recovery are...tattoos. After getting such a great report from Dr. Efebera last month (normal, stable FLCs; totally normal organ and blood biomarkers; move to 6 month follow-up) and feeling like my physical fitness was returning to my pre-illness level, I knew I wanted to get a tattoo to commemorate this..and remind me to share my story with others to bring hope and encouragement. I knew exactly what I wanted to get....
After stem cell transplants, you don't know if it was successful until 100 days after the transplant. That's when the tests are done to determine if that hell I went through actually accomplished anything. As you can imagine, it was a pretty stressful time for me. One day during this time when I was descending into an abyss of worry, I was standing at my front window. I saw a goldfinch in the bushes. I love birds of all types, especially goldfinches, and enjoyed watching the little guy flit around. At one point, he stopped and turned his head. It seemed like he knew I was watching him and I was sure he would fly away. Instead, he flew over to the window where I was standing, landed on the frame and stood there staring at me for about a minute. It was so cool and such a wonderful little blessing to break my worry.
Later, I found out that in Renaissance times, the goldfinch symbolized a return of health or a rising from the sick bed. How cool is that?
Last week while I was in Jacksonville spending Christmas at Amy and Sean's, I got a goldfinch tattoo on my inner bicep from James Cumberland at Sunday Tattoo. Sean said he does great bird tattoos and he did not disappoint. Not only did he come in on his day off to fit me in, he was a nice guy and did great work. I originally wanted to get it on my forearm so it would be more visible and allow me to share it's significance ie "raise my ebenezer." I consulted about this with two women in my field who are about my age, much more successful than me and share my rebellious spirt. They both said I should go for it since it's such a great story and, as one of them said, it's not like I have to prove myself professionally. But my daughter Amy and one of her friends ganged up on me and strongly suggested I put it in a location that was more "hideable" in a business setting. It's on my inner bicep.
Here are two pictures taken exactly three years apart. The one on the left was taken January 1, 2014 is when I decided I was strong enough to really start working out again. I'd been working out some but I wanted to take a picture of where I was when I moved from recovering from my illness and treatment to restoring my physical fitness. The one on the right was from this morning, showing my restoration and my "ebenezers". (I'll share the story about the wave tattoo another time.) And here's a close-up of the goldfinch.
