I'm Riding Again

Riding in Pelotonia, Columbus' annual ride to raise money for cancer research at The James, has been a very tangible expression of my recovery. Every year since my stem cell transplant, I've raised at least $3,000 and ridden at least 100 miles (except for last year when I couldn't ride because of a broken arm.) This year, I was seriously contemplating not riding but participating as a "virtual rider"--raise some money, maybe volunteer during the weekend. And then, this picture showed up in my TimeHop.

It's the bulletin board in my room at The James showing the recovery of my blood counts following my stem cell transplant.  It's another tangible, although esoteric, expression of my recovery. But the two numbers on that board most important for me at the time is my abdominal girth of 43" and my weight of 166 pounds. The abdominal swelling from my disease and transplant had incapacitated me. I could barely sit up and didn't walk more than a few steps for more than a week. That's why I had to go to rehab after my transplant just to be able to climb 6 stairs and walk 500 feet unassisted. It was a hard road back from that condition to being able to ride 180 miles 16 months later in my first Pelotonia ride.

As I pondered that photo and thought about the gift of my recover and how far I've come, I knew I had to ride again this year! There are still millions of cancer patients who don't have the gift of a cure or the durable, lasting remission that I've achieved.

Alan is now working in the Neuro-oncology clinic at The James. He regularly comes home with a story of a patient who was recently diagnosed and doesn't have any effective treatment options. And even most of the treatment options they have may only extend life several months, not years. And, there are so many cancer patients and types of cancer without effective treatment. Because cancer develops as part of a body's regeneration process gone haywire, even patients with the same "type" of cancer can face very different prognoses...and a hopeful prognosis at initial diagnosis can change to a grave one as the disease evolves and progresses.

So, I ride again this year to do my part to bring hope to those who are currently in treatment, those in remission and those yet to be diagnosed. I'll ride 135 miles on August 3 and 4. And I'm super-excited to spend every minute of it with my dear friend, Stacey Martinez, who carried me in her head every mile last year when she rode 180 miles for the first time. If I'd never gotten sick, I might never have met Stacey and she's one of the many blessings that have come from my illness. 

Please, consider  donation to my ride so you can join with me to bring hope to current and future cancer patients. The research funded through Pelotonia is having a global impact in the fight against cancer and every dollar donated to my ride goes directly to fund that research. Here's a link. Give early and give often!

http://pelotonia.org/kat4gators

Spring Transformation

My beloved yoga instructor, Sara Goff, has been talking about the transformation that comes about in spring. She's used some Thoreau quotes--“Though I do not believe that a plant will spring up where no seed has been, I have great faith in a seed. Convince me that you have a seed there, and I am prepared to expect wonders.” and “The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn.” She's challenged us to move away from the romanticism of spring and focus on the energy and hard work that goes into a seed transforming into a plant, a tree, food and a forest. She also asked us to "plant seeds of intention" during our practice.

All of this got me thinking about transformations. I've written about them previously here, The Boy or the Bunny and here Before and After. As I was pondering the thought of seeds of intention and the energy it takes to bring them to fruition, I also thought of the transformation through which they go. Sara said that a farmer doesn't plant corn and then stand over every seed saying "corn, corn, corn." But I had an image that a farmer plants a corn seed that looks like this corn seed.

And then a plant grows that looks like this.  What sprouts from the seed and the fertile ground looks nothing like the "seed of intention" we planted. But if we let it go through its season, it will produce a thousand times the intention that we planted. But too often, we don't trust, we get fearful, it doesn't look anything like what we planted so we think we need to dig it up, to stop caring for it, to find another seed. NO! Often times, what sprouts from our intentions or prayers looks very different than what we thought we planted. The periods of most vigorous growth can look very different than the outcome we intended. Seriously, trust me on this one. But if we trust in our power, the goodness of the universe or God (or whatever your belief system is), what grows from that intention will be thousands of times greater than the small intention we planted.

That has been my path through my disease and recovery, my before and after. Plant your seed of intention, fertilize your soil, and trust in the transformation.