The Boy or the Bunny?

One of my favorite books is The Velveteen Rabbit.  Yes, its a sweet children's book but I really appreciate the themes of true love and transformation and believe it has some powerful lessons for adults.

I especially enjoy an audio book featuring Meryl Streep reading the book accompanied by lovely piano music by George Winston.  I've been listening to it a lot lately.  You can get a preview of it here..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_m054tLKvs

As I listen to the story and think of my upcoming transplant and recovery, I find myself wondering whether I'm the Boy or the Bunny.

In the story, the Boy lives a rather idyllic life with lots of toys and happy times playing in the yard with his beloved stuffed Bunny.  But then the boy becomes ill with scarlet fever and all the toys and books the boy had in his bed must be taken out and burned while the Boy goes off to recover by the seaside.

Is there a lesson there for me?  Are there things I hold close to me that God wants to put into the rubbish pile so he can transform them from what I've made them to be into the version He thinks they should be?  My career, self-image, priorities?  I wonder what things I've held close that will end up in a rubbish sack "in the corner behind the fowl-house."

The Bunny in the story is intrigued by the concept of "becoming real", being truly loved by a child, once he is told about it by the Skin Horse.  But  "he longed to become Real, to know what it felt like; and yet the idea of growing shabby and losing his eyes and whiskers was rather sad. He wished that he could become it without these uncomfortable things happening to him."

This section really struck me...

"And while the Boy was asleep, dreaming of the seaside, the little Rabbit lay among the old picture-books in the corner behind the fowl-house, and he felt very lonely. The sack had been left untied, and so by wriggling a bit he was able to get his head through the opening and look out. He was shivering a little, for he had always been used to sleeping in a proper bed, and by this time his coat had worn so thin and threadbare from hugging that it was no longer any protection to him.  Near by he could see the thicket of raspberry canes, growing tall and close like a tropical jungle, in whose shadow he had played with the Boy on bygone mornings. He thought of those long sunlit hours in the garden–how happy they were–and a great sadness came over him. He seemed to see them all pass before him, each more beautiful than the other, the fairy huts in the flower-bed, the quiet evenings in the wood when he lay in the bracken and the little ants ran over his paws; the wonderful day when he first knew that he was Real. He thought of the Skin Horse, so wise and gentle, and all that he had told him." 

The story ends with the appearance of the Nursery Fairy, who takes care of the playthings that children have loved.  She uses her magic to turn the Bunny into a real rabbit.  Not the one that's only real in the imagination of a human boy but is transformed into the creature that God has created.

Is there a transformation for me that will occur through this process?  Is God looking to more fully change me from my version of who I am into His version of who I am?

So, those of you who will go through this with me and be with me on the other side, know that I may undergo some transformations similar to the Bunny in the book.  And if I'm the Boy, there may be some familiar things that don't look quite the same to me when I'm done.

"Autumn passed and Winter, and in the Spring, when the days grew warm and sunny, the Boy went out to play in the wood behind the house. And while he was playing, two rabbits crept out from the bracken and peeped at him. One of them was brown all over, but the other had strange markings under his fur, as though long ago he had been spotted, and the spots still showed through. And about his little soft nose and his round black eyes there was something familiar, so that the Boy thought to himself:

"Why, he looks just like my old Bunny that was lost when I had scarlet fever!"

But he never knew that it really was his own Bunny, come back to look at the child who had first helped him to be Real."

Am I the Boy or the Bunny or some of both?  Only time will tell as I move through this illness, treatment and recovery.  I sense that a lot of what was, will be changed.  I pray I have the wisdom and courage to follow God's lead as this happens.