As always, I learned a lot professionally from sessions and meetings with other customers. It was also another instance in which I was overwhelmed by the encouragement and support from so many people. So many people went out of their way to give me a hug and tell me they were praying for me or cheering me on. And, sometimes, I'm surprised by some of the folks who take the time to tell me they care and are happy to see me.
I spent some time talking to a colleague who serves as the Director of Advanced Analytics for Teradata International. She works with clients around the globe to determine how they can use their data to deliver better business results and sustainable competitive advantage. She's got a doctorate in Statistics and has been in both academia and industry for more than 25 years. On top of that, she's one of the smartest people I know.
Judy told me how she'd been thinking about me and keeping track of my progress. She's gone through a battle with breast cancer so we talked about how being an analyst has impacted the way we manage our disease. She found my data collection of test results to be totally normal and could empathize with my desire to build some process control charts for my key test results so I can identify when my values start to go "out of control." We talked about our commitment to understanding the science of our diseases and staying up to date on treatment options. Judy said, "Cancer is my hobby." I can relate to that.
We talked about the challenge in diagnosing my disease and I described how impressed I was with Dr. Levin's thorough approach in my first appointment with him. Judy said, "That's because he has the mind of an analyst. He thinks comprehensively and can find the story in the data."
We talk a lot in my group about structured problem solving....the ability to take a problem and break it down into possible causes that are mutually exclusive and collectively exhaustive. We use issue trees to help in this process. As I watched my primary care doc use very unstructured, superficial thinking during my diagnostic process, I thought about the value of an issue tree that listed my symptoms at the top level, each body system at the next level, possible diseases at the third level and tests needed to confirm or refute the diagnosis at the fourth level. She could then see the tests that were most common across the possible diagnoses and move through those possibly ruling out multiple diseases at a time as the tests were completed.
Judy and I talked about how primary care physicians are sorely lacking in this skill. I take college courses that will help in my career or that I find interesting on coursera.org. While perusing the catalog one day, I found a course entitled "Clinical Problem Solving." The descriptions says, "Participants will learn how to move efficiently from patient signs and symptoms to a rational and prioritized set of diagnostic possibilities and will learn how to study and read to facilitate this process." Obviously, the medical community recognizes the limited diagnostic prowess within its ranks.
We had our closing gala in Cowboy Stadium with a concert by One Republic. The stadium was really extraordinary and the huge TV screen over the field was the most impressive feature. I could not believe the quality of the picture.
Before the One Republic show, the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders appeared on stage. The rush of people, primarily men, moving rapidly toward the stage was quite remarkable. I could see this word bubble floating in the air representing the primary thought of the men in the crowd--"BOOBIES!" One of my colleagues on the Steering Committee stayed at the table with me at this point and enjoyed the sights of the cheerleaders on the ginormous tv screen. 15-foot wide booties covered in white polyester short shorts was impressive and disturbing at the same time.
The speaker at the closing session was Jamie Clark, professional adventurer who has summited Mt. Everest twice and climbed the highest summit on each of the seven continents. His message was one of perseverance, overcoming obstacles, and “climbing your Everest”. He shared a quote from Sir Edmund Hilary about Everest--"Everest is never conquered, it only tolerates momentary success." There are times I feel that way about my disease. How long will my Amyloidosis tolerate my current success?
Jamie also talked about fear. He said that fear can paralyze us and asked how we conquer it. Jamie said we don't conquer it, we have to find balance and focus. But he did say that on the other side of fear we find freedom.
He talked about one of the climbers, John, on one of his Everest expeditions being a few hundred yards from the summit and having to make the choice to reach the summit but knowing it was likely he wouldn't make it back to camp. Or to decide to stop and turn around, missing what might be his only chance to summit Everest. He tells the story here.
His talk really made me think of my Everest--getting my Amyloidosis into remission. I had the opportunity to share that with Jamie when I met him after his talk. He said, "But I had a choice to go up that mountain, you didn't." But really, I faced a similar decision as his climbing partner, John. I could have chosen a less aggressive treatment than the stem cell transplant. I see stories of some people who choose (or their doctors choose for them) to try chemotherapy first before undergoing a procedure as risky and taxing as a stem cell transplant. I chose to push on to the summit knowing there was a chance I might not make it back. Granted, that chance was small and much less than the almost certain risk of death that John faced, but it was there.
What made the decision a no-brainer for me is what Jamie says is found on the other side of our fear--freedom. I feel that I now have freedom to live a relatively normal life for whatever period of time my disease is in remission, however long it tolerates this current success.
As Jamie signed his book, Above All Else, for me he said, "I think you'll appreciate the word I've inscribed in the book." I looked down at the book he was signing on the table and he'd written "Onward!"
Yes, onward, enjoying the freedom I've found on the other side of my fear.
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