Patience & Real Problems

I've been working hard the last 2 weeks to monitor my caloric intake so I will gain weight.  I used an application called My Fitness Pal to record what I ate and track my calories to be sure I was eating enough.  For the 2 weeks, I ate 3,000 calories per day...but didn't gain any weight.  Which, of course, frustrated me.  The quest for all the calories also stressed me out and consumed way too much of my consciousness.

Sunday as I was leaving church, the assistant rector at my church, Cricket, asked me how I was doing.  I told her about my caloric quest and frustration with my inability to gain weight.  I said, "I know I'm getting better every day, I just want it to hurry up."  She said, "Maybe that's something God wants you to work on."

Of course, I knew she was right and have had those thoughts myself.  When I do what I think is necessary to achieve an outcome, I want to see the results.  And I think my frustration over the lack of progress is partly because I feel the results are the result of my work and not God's grace.  This is a struggle I have continuously.

My plan now is to do the work and leave the results to God.  Whether it's with the weight gain, my prognosis or whatever else I have to deal with on this journey.

The other theme for the day today was "real problems."  I returned to work today, just for the morning, and everything went well.  It was great to see my colleagues and my boss and start integrating back into my career.  While I was on leave, there were several organizational changes that impacted my boss and our group.  Nothing major but change in corporate America is stressful.

As I was leaving work, I chatted with a colleague from another group who is undergoing organizational changes.  He told me that when he would get stressed about the changes, he would think about me and realize that what he was facing wasn't a "real problem."

Also today, I saw a post on Facebook by a friend who is in Paris to spend time with her daughter, do some sightseeing and watch some of the Tour de France stages.  She posted on Facebook that she was frustrated she couldn't operate the combination washer/dryer in her apartment in Paris.  Her daughter reminded her this was a good problem to have and I noted that I would certainly take that problem.  She admitted that she was fortunate that was her problem.

So the lesson today is patience and real problems.  I need to have patience that God will ensure my recovery progresses on His schedule as long as I'm diligently working.  And I need to maintain perspective on what is a real problem.  My prognosis is still good and my recovery is on track.  Bloated stomach, not a real problem.  Discomfort from my enlarged liver, not a real problem.  Not gaining weight as fast as I'd like, not a real problem.

As my friend's daughter reminded her, in the grand scheme of things, I have good problems right now.  I just need to be more patient.